cantanopeshitthatwastaken:

aampharros:

accordingtomyresearch:

drneverland:

one-for-all-plus-ultra:

themightyglamazon:

sexycraisinthanos:

themightyglamazon:

next-time-you-invite-pam:

justgot1:

lindsayribar:

gerrycanavan:

 I’m afraid of Americans

This is super real.

Completely accurate.

@pre-successful America exposed. 

It’s hilarious watching non-Americans react to this with fear because I read it just nodding along like “yes, in fact this is How Things Are, there you go”

If you ask an American how they are and they respond “Super.” that means they want to die

ACCURATE

If they say they’re peachy it means they’re tired of existence

If they say “Living the dream,” it means “please kill me, I hate my job so, so much.”

also “that’s a great question” means “I have no freaking idea”

if asked “how are things going?” and they reply “its going” it means theyre in the middle of a mental breakdown

if you ask “how are you” and they respond with “good, you?” it was an automatic  response and they probably didn’t even realize they said it. it has no actual meaning. sometimes you might say “hi” or “good morning” and hear “good, you?” as a response because its really really That ingrained as a social Thing. it’s not even like “im pretending you said the correct greeting” its more like “a person approached, said a thing, ill assume it was the Correct Greeting and provide the Correct Response”